Before_Click Event

Open Visual Basic and start a new exe project. Put a TabStrip control on Form1. Double click on the control and you will notice that the
control has "Click" and "Before Click" events. Put a message box in the Before Click event.

This question is, how did Microsoft write an event that predicts the moment just before you click the button.


The Before_Click Event and Telepathy

Before we get under way here are a couple of experiments I would like you to perform.
(1) Go to www.Microsoft.com <http://www.microsoft.com/> and search for the words "Before_Click".
(2) Perform the same search at www.yahoo.com

The Results are unbelievable, none! This is not by design, Microsoft has several mainframe servers running 24/7 to remove any pages that contain this text and we are about to find out why.
There are no words in the English dictionary to describe this unbelievable, earth shattering, telepathic event so for now I will just refer to it as the BCE.
The BCE was introduced into Visual Basic in 1992 and has baffled mankind ever since, it has also raised profound questions which this document will try to answer.
(1) Who was the mastermind behind the creation of the BCE.
(2) Why has Microsoft refused all interviews and comments on the BCE.
(3) What is the BCE - Explained Myths
(4) What is the BCE - Explained Truths

The Master Mind of the BCE.
Microsoft is a tight nit company who's employees live on site and take part in a culture outside of normal society. My meetings with these people had yielded little too no results so I have endlessly scoured the country for so-called X disgruntled employees. At first this group rejected me but after several payments of undisclosed amounts I found myself in a web of cognitive science, quantum physics, murder and cover-up. I met with two of the X's at a bar near their hometown in Washington State. I will call them Tommy and Frankie (Their names are have been changed by request), both worked for Microsoft during the 80's and fled the company after treats were made on the families lives. Tom was part of the Command button Color team and Frank headed the Dropdown Box Length Deterministic Development Group. The bar they had chosen was dimly lit and they sat almost hidden from view at the far end. I introduced myself "Hello I'm Dec" I was interrupted "No ... No names" said Thomas R. Philips of 22 East Street, Seattle, WT, 21334 Cell 871-122-3303 call after 6pm.
I wrote furiously as they sat there saying nothing. It seemed that every round was mine but that was OK for what I was about to learn was unbelievable, It was only $3.40 per round.
My interrogation lasted until late into the night but I was not successful until I finally shouted out "COGNITIVE SCIENCE", "QUANTUM PHYSICS", "MURDER" and yes even "COVER-UP".
With that a large man came from behind the bar (I'm thinking FBI) told me to leave. My interview was over. But this meeting assured me something was wrong, seriously wrong, but with what or who I do not know.
What I think happened on the night of December 12th at zero two hundred hours pm in a secret room at the Redmond office. Baxter Charley Edmond (ha-ha that's where BCE came from) was doing the usual click event stuff when all of a sudden like, he typed in the word "BEFORE".

Official Word On The BCE From Microsoft
I called the 1-800 on the back of the Microsoft Excel version 5 upgrade and an official Microsoft technician answered. He told me that the conversion would be recorded and how could he help me. I talked close to an hour and then finally waited for a reply, but there was silence, then a loud bang and I was disconnected. This is what must have happened. An even more official person was listening in on the conversion, when he realized what was happening he destroyed the tape, shot the first official tech and hung up the phone. I would have continued to press Microsoft but I gave up, too many people have already died.

The BCE Myths
This event is commonly used to verify a users action. Example "Delete Current Record" "Yes", "No". Event occurs before the controls click event.

The BCE And The Truth
I would like to start by saying what a load of hogwash the above description is, do they think we're stupid.
Back at my lab I started to experiment on the BCE. At first trying simple experiments
like pretending to click and then not actually doing it.
Note: I have entered a message box in the Before_Click event with the words "Hello World".
Code:
Msgbox "Hello World"

Each time the telepathic algorithm outwitted me and the message box refused to show.
I moved to the next level of testing. This time I would walk by my PC then turn back quickly
And press the mouse button. Again I could hear the algorithm kick-in and penetrate my mind,
Entering my most secretive thoughts and processing until it understood I had in-fact completed
The task and then displaying the message box boldly on the screen in an almost "in your face white boy" type of fashion.
I left the lab and went to get coffee, when I got back I walked straight to the bathroom, but I
Didn't, I was walking by the computer and clicked on the mouse catching the BC events telepathic algorithm totally off guard, "haha I cried" the computer pretended to freeze but I could hear it processing a billion bits a second, 6 seconds later I was jumping for joy, then all of a sudden the box appeared.
I sat back away from the computer just incase distance might be a factor. With a stick I preformed the same tests but it was always one step ahead.
I also tried a visual experiment, hiding under the desk and jumping out. Turning off the lights and
Wearing only black. No luck.
I threw golf balls at the mouse and had intended to hit the button and nothing came up. IS THIS IT. If I really intended to hit the mouse button but missed the shoot, shouldn't the message box appear!
I worked on this theory for weeks on end, with no sleep or food but I now understood how they where able to achive this marvel.
It's exactly the same as the click event only it happens just before.



Declan.

Lol!

:eek: I suspect that the substance thiotimolene is involved.

ITS TRUE! I work for microsoft, I'm so ashamed! *runs away*

Declan,

I have no doubt that your post may become a treat to your live and or even worse your eternal soul. You may consider a ipconfig /release or at least a relocation to Clare / Ireland, just to be safe. I hope you are aware that you put all members of this forum into a similar dangerous situation but while I think about it we are all possibly better off moving to Cork (its our rebel county) because the people down there may protect us.

Mike

:eek: I suspect that the substance thiotimolene is involved.
To be fair, I should explain that reference. This is from memory, but ...

Thiotimolene (or is it thiotimoline?) was a compound first described by a Columbia University biochemist circa 1948. It's a complicated orgainic compound with very large molecular side branches. Theory is that "supersteric hindrance" actually forces one of its chemical bonds into a fourth dimension that appears to be a temporal one. When this one bond, -- projecting into the future as it were -- dissolves, it drags the rest of the molecule along with it. For this reason, a sample of pure thiotimolene will always dissolve 1.12 seconds *before* water is added to it, as the published results (in reputable psychochemical journals) indicate.

The chemist who discovered this theorized that one could build a battery of thiotimolene cells with each triggering the one before it and achieve a device in which the dissolution would take place fully 24 hours before water was added. For a purely trivial example, one could decide that if a certain horse won a certain race tomorrow, you would definitely irrigate the first cell of the battery. You would then, today, immediately check the last cell for dissolution. The advantages should be obvious. And, if it turned out that the horse won but you failed to get back to add the water, you'd inevitably find that the roof had leaked or something: thiotimolene doesn't lie.

.
.
.

The scientist in question was one Isaac Asimov, who was indeed a real biochemist, but is better known to us as one of the all-time great writers of science fiction. He introduced the concept in a joke article while doing his Ph.D. work. (He had been preparing solutions from fluffy crystals of catechol, and noted that these seemed to disappear as soon as they touched the surface of the water. Why, he thought, any faster and they'd dissolve *before* they hit the solvent. Hmmm ... !) He would write additional mock-science articles on the subject down through the years, so there are numerous publications to reference if indeed this helps to explain the BCE! ;)

They are using Flubber.

Two years of painstaking research produced this result? Wow. I thought Flubber was an invention of Apple's, because that movie was a Disney movie, was it not? Hmmm, perhaps Microsoft is a monopoly!

Those in the know have known for years it was a predecessor of the Microsoft Genuine Advantage, it uses van eck phreaking by which it reads the electromagnetic impulses of the brain by detecting the changes in the radio frequencies emitted from the high GHz range processors as they pass through your cerebral cortex. Much like a MRI, but more insidious as it alerts the MS Gestapo at the mere thought of piracy. On the lower speed processors it only worked on gamers (due to the under developed cerebral cortex and over developed cerebellum) and often alerted falsely (One report stated a man was fined $500,000 for contemplating wearing an eye patch for Halloween).

For those in fear, Fear not http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tinfoil_hat will explain the principal by which you can fashion hats of simple aluminum foil to thwart those who seek to probe your innermost thoughts.

(Remember computers are everywhere these days so to be sure make sure to wear your hat while shopping, using ATMs, and traveling in airplanes.)

Microsoft is a tight nit company (sic) :D

Could somebody please explain how to use the .ConspiracyTheory method with the Before_Click event. Every time I try it, I get an "Error: 666" message. :chuckle: